1. Use dynamic action words to reveal your character’s mood/personality.
2. Twist & drop test. Take your character from the final chapter of the book and drop him in the first scene of the book. He should behave differently (if he’s grown).
3. CIP test (catalogue, identification, publication). Test for one-line hook. Look at Library of Congress hooks in books.
4. Look for escalation/movement of the plot.
5. Dialogue test. Use highlighter. Plot flats that are in your dialogue.
6. Check the As’s. These are too passive. FIX: Make it more active.
7. Setting – sense of place. Use setting to act upon your character or have character act upon the setting. It reveals emotions.
8. The word “so” is too melodramatic. No real reason for it.
9. Show not tell. Scan for direct feelings.
10. Eagle eyes. Proofread. Print and read your manuscript like a book.
By the way, to read the book description of The Battle of the Snow Cones and to preorder, click on amazon. The book will be in bookstores by November.